1. |
Christmas Biscuits
03:44
|
|||
|
You play some records and decorate with me
You vaccum all the fallen needles from the tree
Set up the ladder and you help me string lights
With you in my life
Things are more bright
I never want to visit my relatives
But being with you gives me reasons to live
You cut the turkey and you say a sweet prayer
Clutching your hand
Thank God your’re there
And there are times the season tries
My patience and I don’t know why
I get so cold, I get so dry
But we’ll get by
You came into my room
Breakfast In bed until two
I could lay here forever gazing only at you
I was crying boo-hoo
When suddenly I smelled
Biscuits, Christmas Biscuits, Biscuits on my plate
Biscuits, Christmas Biscuits, Biscuits from my soulmate
Zip up my dress while you kiss my neck
Drive to the ATM to cash my check
Discussing lovemaking: the how and the when
2 Manhattans
And keep it open
Take a walk through the Christmas town
Look at the skating bear that’s broken down
Hot apple cider & some waffle bites
I just wanna stay here
With you tonight
And there are times the season tries
My patience and I don’t know why
I get so cold, I get so dry
But we’ll get by
You came into my room
Breakfast In bed until two
I could lay here forever gazing only at you
I was crying boo-hoo
When suddenly I smelled
Biscuits, Christmas Biscuits, Biscuits on my plate
Biscuits, Christmas Biscuits, Biscuits from my soulmate
The years have passed and you’re no longer there
The smell of biscuits still fill up the air
It’s kinda corny but it’s all true
The things we’d laugh at
When I had you
|
||||
2. |
||||
|
The candy, the presents, putting ornaments on the tree
Stockings on the fireplace, Santa down the chimney
Tv specials, Christmas carols
Mean nothing to me
Christmas is for those of you
With somebody to talk to
It’s not anything new
And so it goes
I know I’ll be alone
For Christmas
The friends and the family, the people that you love
Having a party with fellow workers at your job
On the second day of Christmas, I don’t get
No turtle doves
Christmas is just no fun
For those with no one
It’s just a great big con
There are no pros
When you are alone
For Christmas
Under the mistletoe I’m kissing air
Imaging a lover standing there
With a large turkey and mashed potatoes
On the table instead of some ho-hos!
(Ho ho ho!)
The joy and the laughter, the good feeling all around
Spreading itself along the streets of every town
Children singing, bells a’ ringing
Simply bring me down
Christmas doesn’t apply to me
It’s strictly for the happy
Or those trying to be
I gave up long ago
And that’s why I’ll be alone
For Christmas
Doesn’t matter anyway
Doesn’t matter anyway
Cus when you’re all alone,
Christmas is just another day.
|
||||
3. |
First Choice
04:11
|
|||
|
Here it is, Christmas Eve night
A part of me lit only by pink light
Coming from the tree
I got my See’s
It’s not my first choice to have right beside me
Not waiting for Santa Claus per se
He couldn’t give me what I want anyway
And there’s nothing on tv
I’m playing an old CD
It’s not my first choice to have right beside me
There’s some dolls in a chair
A penguin and a reindeer and a Coca-Cola Bear
They can’t move but one can play tunes one after another
They’re inanimate but at least they have each other
Which is more than I can say
You’re not here this Christmas Day
I doubt it would help to pray
It’d stay exactly this way
(Ahh-ah-Ahhh), Mmmmhhmmm, (Ahhh-ah-Ahhhh)
Here it is, 1:00 now
Eyelids getting farther from eyebrows
I am a bit sleepy
Wrapped up in my blue blankie
It’s not my first choice to have right beside me
No sugar plums dancing in my dreams
Visions of you though are a theme
I wake from the fantasy
White walls are all I can see
It’s not my first choice to have right beside me
There’s some cards on the door
None from anyone I was hoping for
In fact, there’s one that’s from an insurance company
I don’t think there’s anyone there who loves me
What more can I say
You’re not here this Christmas Day
I doubt it would help to pray
It’d stay exactly this way
(Ahh-ah-Ahhh), Mmmmhhmmm, (Ahhh-ah-Ahhhh)
|
||||
4. |
||||
|
His name was Percy
The Thanksgiving Turkey
And he was the greatest turkey I ever ate
His drumsticks were delicious
We were eating on him till Christmas
Percy had such a great taste
When he was still kicken’
We were going to have chicken
But I said “Hey, lookie there.”
That’s a fine old turkey
Let’s dump that chicken birdie
And cook Percy at a fair temperature.
He globbed and globbed
And we killed him with no trouble
And when everyone came to dinner they said
Percy was wonderful
I’ll have another plate full
They ate Percy till they were sick in the stomach.
And so I say
On this new Thanksgiving Day
The turkey was good but it wasn’t Percy
I always will remember
Eating Percy on the table
For Percy was
The Greatest
Thanksgiving Turkey, Thanksgiving Turkey, Thanksgiving Turkey
(He was the greatest turkey I ever did see)
Thanksgiving Turkey, Thanksgiving Turkey
(He was the greatest turkey I ever did see)
Happy Holidays from Toasters N Moose
|
||||
Toasters 'N' Moose
Rockin' your body home since 1979.
Toasters 'N' Moose recommends:
A Big Ol' Box of Ghost Peeps
by Ghost Peeps
The same guy who wrote the Toasters 'N' Moose tunes wrote these!
go to album
The Curiosity Shop
by Vincent Gargiulo National Park
The same guy who wrote the Toasters 'N' Moose tunes has a new band.
go to albumIf you like Toasters 'N' Moose, you may also like:
Speakeasy - Live 2016
by John Robins
Robins decided to release the recording of his 2016 comedy tour during the Covid-19 shutdown at the behest of fans.
go to album
Taylor Ham, Egg, And Cheese
by Chris Gethard
Comedian Chris Gethard’s hilarious new surprise album is devoted to the great state of New Jersey, and the great state of New Jersey alone.
go to album
In A Time Of Trouble A Wild Exultation
by Jaye Bartell
A stunning and sparse follow-up to last year's "Light Enough" from Brooklyn songwriter Jaye Bartell.
go to album
Just Putting It Out There
by Aparna Nancherla
This dry, wry, gently absurdist comedian's first album is the inaugural release for Tig Notaro's new label, Bentzen Ball Records.
go to album
